Mom Chill! Leave Me Alone!

#by Sabita Menon, Pinewood 

Mom Chill! Leave Me Alone!

It's always a good time and a light moment sitting with my now-adult children and talking about my unique and sometimes annoying parenting skills when they were teenagers.

Did I hound them like paparazzi? You bet I did!
I'm grateful for the years when they were babies and behaved their age. I'd see them 24 hours a day, seven days a week, and be happy with the delusion that I know them from the inside out.
These adorable babies grew every time I blinked. It was too late to freeze them because I was already staring at my genetically engineered aliens, “The Teens,” with their raging hormones. The next few years, they invaded my life and were polite to everyone who wasn’t me.

I didn’t see this coming. You won’t either until it hits you!
There was always a tug of war over whether I should be a strict or lenient parent or whether I avoid conflict as much as possible.

There were days when I tried to figure out parenting over many glasses of wine. With a headache looming, it was time to utter the dreaded phrase, “You are Grounded.”

It felt good to say because it meant I did not have to deal with issues until after they were done sulking, and I could plan my next move.

Oh no! Here they come, sobbing and rambling their standard script that I don't understand them, I'm not listening, Friend's parents don't impose curfews, and more. I'd keep a poker face and stare them down.

If I don't react, they'll storm back to their room and shut the door with a bang. The silence is now deafening, and I prepare for the next assault.

Even worse are "We need to talk" moments. This confession time can last for hours because every story has three sides: mine, theirs, and the truth.


I've bullied them into cleaning their rooms and cupboards. I would find cups, glasses, plates, spoons, and leftover food under the bed, behind the door and curtains, and inside shelves and cupboards. Worse, when I open closets, I'm drowning in a pile of stinky clothes that leaves me gasping for breath.

Their phone batteries die a natural death the moment they leave the house. Another sleepless night awaits!

Holidays with my teenagers were enjoyable as long as I packed my “Sense of humour.” It can get challenging planning activities to keep both entertained.

I relished the brief moments when they snitched on each other. Have I got them this time? Even before I can come out in all fury, they have managed to patch up and are ready to gang up on me.

Trying to be creative while lecturing was never my strong suit. I can’t stop smiling as I think of the most ridiculous things I’d say: Money doesn’t grow on trees, If you wish to be treated like an adult, behave like one, Who is the adult here, you or me, You are blessed to have everything, Ask them to come and say hello to all my friends, Do you want me to turn the car around right now,  How can you sleep until noon, you’ve lost the entire day, You have “too many friends” and judging who was right and wrong for them.
Best for last, You’ll understand when you become a parent, and I hope you have one exactly like you.
What on earth was I thinking? I should have shut up before they retaliated and brought up stuff I did or did not do with or for them. Mom, you always think you know best!

That was the last straw for me and I would say, “If you want me, come and find me!” What a laugh!

Parenting was not easy, especially with miniature versions of myself!